The Geordie Thermometer by the Newcastle Poster Company
50 Degrees. Southerners turn on their heating. Geordies sow first seeds of spring.
40 Degrees. Southerners shiver uncontrollably. Geordies sunbathe on the Town Moor.
30 Degrees. Southerners cars won’t start. Geordies drive with their windows down.
20 Degrees. Southerners wear coats, gloves, and woolly hats. Geordies swim in the North Sea.
10 Degrees. Southerners begin to Evacuate. Geordies have first barbecue of Summer.
Zero degrees. Southern England closes down. Geordies throw on a tee shirt.
Minus 10 Degrees. Southerners cease to exist. Geordie lasses go up the toon for a night out.
Minus 80 Degrees. David Attenborough produces new series. Geordies dig out first leek trench of the year.
Minus 100 Degrees. David Attenborough gives up. Geordie lasses hoy on more lip gloss.
Minus 173 Degrees. Alcohol freezes. Geordies drink at home because the pubs are shut.
Minus 297 Degrees. Microbiological life starts to disappear. Geordies think about tee shirts with long sleeves.
Minus 460 Degrees. All atomic motion stops. Geordie lasses hoy on extra fake tan.
Minus 500 Degrees. Hell freezes over. Sunderland qualify for Europe.
- Copyright the Newcastle Poster Company – I recommend yer buy yersel the official tea towel here.